Foreword
Surviving While Also Not Dying
by "Mountainous" Mel Weewee
I have been a Surviving Until Dying Eventually instructor for thirty years. I have taught Navy SEALs, harbor seals, Marines, the Kennedys, and two generations of pandas. I've been to Paris, the Arctic Circle, the Soviet Union, Mt. Everest, Neptune (twice,) Key Largo, and Monte Carlo. I've been to Hell and back, to Narnia, Sweden, and honey, I've been to Paradise, (but I've never been to me.) I was on the beach at Normandy, served in Vietnam and the Gulf War, the Civil War, and the War of 1812.
I've learned a lot about survival in the last three centuries.
The thing to remember, in a situation in which you intend to survive is, "try not to die." It's important to keep this in mind, for I have never met a person who survived after dying, although I understand this is possible in certain rare situations involving religious figures.
-- You must be ready for everything.
I have scaled Mount Everest five times. There are no harsher conditions known to man than that which exists on and near the top of our world's tallest mountain. Once, on my fourth trip (a trip I planned because I'd accidentally left my wallet at the top on my third climb) we were pinned to the side of the mountain by a horrible storm. My Sherpa even commented that he had never seen such a terrible storm. Memorably, he stated, "I have never seen such a terrible storm." Acting quickly, he pulled out a fondue set. The cheddar fondue of the Tibetan Sherpas is legendary, of course, but only rarely does one partake of it at such extreme climes, especially in the midst of such a terrible storm. I watched silently as my companion carefully assembled the lazy susan and then lit (with great difficulty) the sterno can. Rather than use the small bowl, however, the Sherpa substituted a large chafing dish. It was not until later, when he pulled the live badger from his bag that I understood why. The fondue bowl was much too small for the badger. As I watched with chagrin and amazement, the Sherpa then stunned the badger into unconsciousness with a large rock, placed him in the chafing dish, and added snow and a small quantity of his own urine.
Within half an hour, the badger was boiled and tender (it never woke up again) and the storm had abated considerably. While enjoying this unexpected and very tasty repast, I asked the Sherpa why he had done what he did. "The god of the mountain was very angry," he explained. "When the god of the mountain is angry one must sacrifice a woodland creature to appease him."
On that day, the Sherpa's quick thinking,
advance planning (very advance planning, as badgers are not indigenous
to the region,) and improvisational skills-- remember the chafing
dish-- saved the day...
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