CHAPEL
I'll be sure not to break them. Besides, you can't get a fingerprint
off a pair of dice. They're too small and people don't hold them
in their fingers.
WHITE
Do you want to be the primary?
CHAPEL
Not a chance.
WHITE
Then stop deciding what is and isn't important. You find the only
thing remotely resembling a clue, and not only do you not tell
me, you start playing with it. You know, just because you aren't
the primary doesn't mean you get to sit around and do nothing.
Where did you find them?
CHAPEL
Right here. (Points to spot)
(WHITE hooks one end of his tape measure to the deceased's belt
and measures the distance to the spot where the dice were found.)
CHAPEL
Why on earth are you doing that?
WHITE
I'm putting together the crime scene. What do you think?
CHAPEL
What I mean is, what difference could the distance between him
and the dice make?
WHITE
How do you ever manage to solve cases?
CHAPEL
Well I've certainly never bothered to take measurements, if that's
what you mean. I call that a waste of time.
WHITE
I call it the scientific method.
CHAPEL
I see. And what, according to the scientific method, does this
particular measurement prove?
WHITE
I am attempting to determine whether the dice were dropped by
the victim, or by the killer.
CHAPEL
And the distance between the body and the dice answers that question
for you?
WHITE
Certainly. Say, for instance, the victim was clutching the dice
in his hand at the time he was shot.
CHAPEL
He was shot?
WHITE
Yes. Once through the heart. And as I'm sure you know, that kind
of wound and the man's down in about two seconds. Now, if the
victim were holding the dice, he'd probably drop them, seeing
as how holding one's dice wouldn't be a really high priority at
this point. In which case they would be much closer to his body.
He could've thrown them, or let them go as his arm moved up to
clutch the wound, but there's no blood on his hands, so I don't
think he even had time to touch the wound. And I doubt he would
have thrown them, because that would be stupid. Now, suppose he
did drop them. Is it
possible for the dice to have rolled that far?
CHAPEL
How do you intend to solve that question?
WHITE
Testing it.
CHAPEL
Are you going to shoot somebody?
WHITE
Of course not. Just throw the dice a few dozen times and see how
far they go. Of course I can only guess how much force was applied
to throwing the dice, since he would've done it underhand while
falling backwards. If none of the tosses makes it far enough,
then I've proven something.
(Pause)
CHAPEL
What is it that you've proven?
WHITE
That the dice were dropped by somebody else.
CHAPEL
The killer.
WHITE
Presumably.
CHAPEL
Oh, presumably!
WHITE
Uhm, yeah. There is always the possibility that a third
person dropped the dice. Which, actually, would be even
better, since, that would mean there was a killer and an
accomplice.
CHAPEL
Could you prove that?
WHITE
Not conclusively, no. Not from this evidence alone, I mean. But,
it could help support other evidence.
CHAPEL
What other evidence is that?
WHITE
I don't know yet! I might, if I weren't busy trying to
explain myself to you!
(WHITE indignantly snatches his tape measure from the ground and
returns to the body. Pause)
CHAPEL
Hey.
WHITE
What?
CHAPEL
What if he had the dice in his mouth?
WHITE
What?
CHAPEL
You say that a pair of dropped dice couldn't have possibly rolled
this far, and while I think you're underestimating the random
nature of a pair of rolling dice, I'll concede that point. But
I bet he could have spit the dice that far.
WHITE
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
CHAPEL
No, think about it. He gets shot, right? The impact, and the shock,
causes him to expel all the air in his lungs, which propels the
dice across the room...
WHITE
Why the fuck would he have the dice in his mouth?
CHAPEL
I don't know. But if he did... Well, wouldn't that be
significant? Wouldn't that tell you something?
WHITE
Like what? That he liked to eat dice?
CHAPEL
Well, we don't know what it means now, but if it supported other
evidence...
WHITE
Now I know you're just trying piss me off.
CHAPEL
Not at all. I'm trying to use your method, the scientific method,
to help you solve the case.
WHITE
By what stretch of the imagination is that an example of the scientific
method?
CHAPEL
Now, see, now you've gotten me confused. I thought that your goal
was to use the available facts to build a case. It is a fact,
for instance, that the dice were found fifteen feet away from
the body. Also, based on your logic, if the deceased was holding
the dice when he was shot, then it would have been very difficult
for him to get the dice that far across the room in the two seconds
of life he had remaining. You also proposed proving this theory
by the somewhat specious method of tossing dice a few dozen times.
Now, ignoring for the moment that you've made this entire exercise
a case study in supposition- by supposing, for instance that
the dice weren't in the room before the murder took place, by
supposing that they had something to do with the murder at all,
in fact- I'm merely pointing out that you've overlooked another
potential method for the deceased to get the dice across the room.
As far as I'm concerned, if you're going to assume that the dice
were in his or the killer's possession before the murder, but
choose to overlook the possibility that he may have had the dice
in his mouth, then you've just crossed the line beyond which lies
pure guesswork.
WHITE
Fine, then you tell me what choice I have. I'm stuck in a room
with absolutely no furniture, no windows, no dirt, for Chrissake,
and all I have to go on is a dead guy and a pair of dice, and
you tell me what else I can do with it!
CHAPEL
All I'm saying is that you're guessing. If you want to call it
guessing, I'm all for it, but don't tell me you've come to this
conclusion using measurements and science. He may very well have
been killed because of an argument over a game of dice, but that's
only a guess.
(Pause)
WHITE
Fine. How would you solve it, professor?
CHAPEL
I certainly wouldn't be hanging around in this room,
especially when it's obvious there's nothing here worthy of being
considered evidence. But obviously there's a killer out there
with a guilty conscience. Once I get him or her in the interrogation
room, I'm sure it'll all come spilling out.
WHITE
Just like that, huh?
CHAPEL
Essentially.
WHITE
You going to drag the entire city in one by one?
CHAPEL
Of course not. He was killed by somebody he knew. Why else would
he have been alone in the room with him?
WHITE
A guess, correct?
CHAPEL
No, no, you can't turn this around on me. I don't make any claims
about evidential verisimilitude. Of course it's a guess, but it's
a guess based on instinct. And experience, of course.
WHITE
I see. Well, let's go then.
CHAPEL
Don't you want to finish your examination first?
WHITE
Why bother? I've got the Amazing Kreski, Psychic
Extraordinaire as a partner. You just warm up your evil
eyeball, right? Tell you what, when we meet up with the
guilty party, you read his aura and give me the signal, and I'll
slap the cuffs on.
(WHITE tries the door and discovers it to be locked)
WHITE
Um...
CHAPEL
Turn the knob, then pull.
(WHITE pulls harder on the door)
WHITE
You're not claustrophobic, are you?
CHAPEL
Not that I know of.
WHITE
Good. I'd hate to be stuck in a windowless locked room with an
armed claustrophobic. BACK